I wasn't hired to look pretty; I was hired to think pretty.

You, on the other hand, are a completely different story.

Essentially, you are the team mascot. A morale booster if you will. Because, and let's be honest here, you suck at doing your job (title). I mean, don't you get a stomach sinking "I have no clue what I'm doing" feeling every time you sit down at your desk?

And by now, you have to be wondering if anyone has caught on to the fact that you actually know nothing.  Do your even listen to all the questions you ask? Speaking of which, I would like to introduce you to my friend Google...

But you can stop worrying; your job is safe. Your real job that is. The one where you clown around and make sure that everyone else has a good time.

So congrats on your job as a... Oh wait, the censors say that I'm not allowed to use that word here. But great job nonetheless.